❤️ Making Monogamy Work: Feb 2020

Published: Wed, 02/05/20

February 2020

Tony Davis Psychotherapy

Relationship Therapy for Couples and Individuals

Special Valentine's Issue:

Romance That Works

February is a month that one either dreads or dreads more, from what I hear–and yet it does not have to be so! I notice that the dread affects both those who are in relationships and those who are not–with just slight differences:

dread for those in relationship can include anxiety
dread for those who are single can include depression

The source of this dread just one day in the month–you guessed it–February 14th, Valentine’s Day. What is currently an opportunity to celebrate love and romance has turned into a day where love is often tested and romance is bought.

But it does not have to be this way.

The power we have as humans is the ability to make choices that align with our values–regardless of what others are doing! This includes our choices about love, sex, dating, and romance.

In this Special February Issue, we will take a look specifically at romance, and how to make choices about it that work–meaning less dread, anxiety, and depression–leaving you to experience more fun and love.

Click the button below to keep reading...

Additional Resources:

ALAIN DE BOTTON: THE COURSE OF LOVE

Most books and stories about love focus on the infatuation stage. While romantic, this is not helpful for those of us who are looking to the arts for a workable or healthy model of relationship. The thing is, most people think that real love is not sexy, boring even! In my experience, it is the opposite--it can include all the passion of the romantic stage without any of the anxiety or drama.

Alain de Botton is a wonderful writer who thinks deeply about a lot of things, including love. In this fantastic book, he crafts a fiction story of a marriage over time, the good, the bad, and the ugly, while showing readers that what you get along the way is worth the trouble.

Real Love asks that we look beyond the fantasy and preferences to the living, breathing, often hurting person we are involved with in order to truly care. When this happens, then any romance that occurs is about the other person, and deliciously so! If you want a good read that will also inform how you think about love, check it out at the link below:

Click HERE for the book.

MARK MANSON: ROMANCE IS LIKE ALCOHOL

Regular readers of this newsletter know that I enjoy reading Mark Manson, so I thought I would share another of his essays with you this month. Fortunately, he writes a lot about love and relationship, so he has a lot to say about it.

Here he looks at romance, and he amusingly(and accurately) compares it to alcohol, in that it acts like a drug on your brain.

Click HERE to read the article.

VIDEO

HOW ROMANTICISM RUINED LOVE

You know how too much salt can ruin a recipe? Well, when that happens, it does not cause us to hate salt, or make salt "bad", it usually prompts us to use it more cautiously in the future. Romance is similar in that too much of it can "ruin" love--it is best when used as a flavor ingredient, in moderation!

Watch the video below and adjust your relationship recipe:

Click on the video play button below to hear what Dan has to say.

How Romanticism Ruined Love

About Tony Davis Psychotherapy

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC81838) and AACAST certified Couples and Sex Therapist who works with couples and individuals on relationship issues including communication, conflict, sex, dating, monogamy, "affair-repair ". Learn how the stories you have of yourself and others are interfering with having the life and relationships you prefer.

CALL 323 963-3183 to book a complimentary consultation, or email me at tonydavistherapy@gmail.com.

Go to CouplesTherapistLA.com for more details.

If you like the feature article in this newsletter and want to read other articles that were previously published, please visit my Blog HERE.

Couples Counseling with Tony Davis, LMFT

See you in March!