September Newsletter: Is Love a Feeling or a Choice?

Published: Thu, 09/20/18

The Connection! September/October 2018

Tony Davis Psychotherapy

Relationship Therapy for Couples and Individuals

NEW OFFICE HOURS!

Starting this month, I will be offering new office hours as follows to better serve current and new clients:

Mondays and Wednesdays: mornings starting at 9am

Tuesdays and Thursdays: late afternoon/evenings until 9pm

Fridays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Saturdays: 9am-230pm, every other Saturday

Sundays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Note that if you are a current client and cannot find a time that works for you in my availability calendar, you can contact me directly. I may add additional hours on a weekly basis depending on need.

NEW PUBLICATION SCHEDULE!

I must be doing something right, because my practice continues to grow with individuals and couples coming in to explore what is not working and discover what works better! Because of this, I will be publishing newsletters every other month, instead of monthly. They will continue to include a new opinion piece on relationship, sex, or dating, as well as additional resources and a fun recipe! Thank you for being a subscriber--and feel free to tell friends who you think might benefit from what I write.

Now let's get right to our feature article...!

Feature Article:

In and Out of Love:

Is Love a Feeling or a Choice?

I recently read an opinion piece that explored what led to a more successful relationship: feeling love for, or choosing to love, a partner. This got me thinking about the two, and whether they were in fact different approaches at all. The debate is often based on data showing that arranged marriages, those in which the partners meet only briefly before commiting to a life together, tend to be just as happy as love-based marriages (suggesting that choosing to love someone works as well as feeling it "naturally").

What is going on here? If we can be just as happy in an arranged marriage as a love-based one, then why go through all the trouble and expense of dating? If dating does not guarantee a better match than one set up by your parents, what is the point? I started thinking of all the time that could be saved! And yet there is not just one right way to start a relationship. The concern for me as a couples therapist is whether the approach my clients take to relationship is working for them.

Click the button below to keep reading...

Further Exploring

VIDEO: SCHOOL OF LIFE: "WHAT TRUE LOVE REALLY IS"

As I said in my feature article, love is often misunderstood! Fortunately, modern neouroscience is helping us to understand it better. Why do we need to understand it better? Well, imagine having a power tool that you have no idea how to use, so you just try what you have seen others do or what you have "heard" about. It might work, but you also might cause a lot of damage!

Modern science helps us with love by showing us what is happening in the brain when we feel the butterflies. This knowledge can help up to avoid coming to conclusions that are not supported by reality, in other words, falling in love with the wrong person!

This short video from the School Of Life YouTube channel gives a lot of information in just a few minutes--I encourage you to take a look and see how it influences how YOU think about true love.

Click below to watch the video (21 minutes):

What True Love Really Is

Just For Fun: Recipe of the Month!

DO YOU HAVE A WEEKLY MEAN PLAN?

We are all busy, and this means that often our plan for dinner is based on what fast food restaurant we are driving by on the way home. While this can be convenient, it can take a toll on our health. But how do we find the time to make home-cooked healthful meals when it seems that there is no time?

I like the idea of "meal planning" for the week, especially since I usually have Sundays free to get ready for the days ahead. Fortunately, there are many options online to help with this, with shopping lists and prep lists that often mean that you spend LESS time preparing your meal at home than you would going through a drive-through!

Here is an example of a meal plan for the season that makes use of what is fresh at the market--try if for yourself as is or adjust it if you like, and see if it helps to bring dinner back into the home and out of the car!

Check out the meal plan by clicking below:

GO TO MEAL PLAN

About Tony Davis Psychotherapy

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC81838) and AACAST certified Couples and Sex Therapist who works with couples and individuals on relationship issues including communication, conflict, sex, dating, monogamy, "affair-repair ". Learn how the stories you have of yourself and others are interfering with having the life and relationships you prefer.

CALL 323 963-3183 to book a complimentary consultation, or email me at Tony@CouplesTherapistLA.com.

Go to CouplesTherapistLA.com for more details.

Couples Counseling with Tony Davis, LMFT

See you in a couple months!

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